I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
