He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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