idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
