Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he told me I talked like a deaf person
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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