So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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