Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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