Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
