For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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