Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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