My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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