well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
