Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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