hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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