He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
