Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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