Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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