You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
