I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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