i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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