How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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