Don't you send me to vm
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
