Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
