I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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