If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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