he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sprained my soul last night
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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