Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
