He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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