oh god the rape fog is back!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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