I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
