I think im going to throw up on grandma
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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