Don't make out with my wife yet
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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