just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
