I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
