just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
