All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
