So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
