i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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