Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?