She is in my trunk
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He shit in the fireplace