In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet