Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.