So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
