His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
