Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
