I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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