What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
