My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
