Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
