I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
