so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
