she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
