am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
