I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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