We won't sleep together?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
