It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
