Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
