Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
