i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
