i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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