I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
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