her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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