we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
