guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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