i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
