apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
